Eddie James sings it right. We need His rain! God help us, heal our land, turn our hearts back to You. I pray that as you listen to this you will sing, too. I pray your song becomes a prayer. We need an awakening.
O’ God, forgive us.
These people draw near Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts hold off and are far away from Me. Matthew 15:8
Call us to repentance, Holy Spirit. Hear our cry!
If My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves, pray, seek, crave, and require of necessity My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14
Let it be so.
And it shall come to pass in the last days, God declares, that I will pour out of My Spirit upon all mankind, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy [telling forth the divine counsels] and your young men shall see visions (divinely granted appearances), and your old men shall dream [divinely suggested] dreams. Acts 2:17
Open the floodgates of heaven!
I especially appreciate that we celebrate the birth of our Savior at the end of the year. No matter the struggle we may have endured during the fist eleven months, we can end the final month with the reminder that we are never alone, for Emmanuel, God is with us!
Christmas is my favorite time of year. This is the time of year when families come together, Christmas music fills the airwaves with glad tidings, homes are decorated with lights, kitchens are warm with baking, and nostalgia of Christmas past lends to the hope of Christmas present.
Every Christmas Eve I turn the lights out, save the tree lights, and I breathe in the peacefulness of the evening. The living room is illuminated with the warm glow of tree lights, twinkling and reflecting off the ornaments I have collected over the years; each one unique and carries a memory.
My favorite are the ones that were handmade by my children. The untrained eye may not recognize the preciousness of each ornament, but this mothers eye sees the love each ornament represents. The smudges of paint and excess glue are reminders of pure love, joy, and the glowing face of my children. I hold each one in my hand and I remember. It is this hodgepodge, mismatched, and sometimes misshaped, tree trimmings that I cherish the most.
In many ways we are like the hodgepodge of handcrafted ornaments. Each one of us crafted by our Fathers hand, fearfully and wonderfully made in His very image. With great care and detail He created us and He cherishes us. And like the worn ornaments on my tree, we have somewhere, along the way, lost our luster; our shine. Yet, that doesn’t make us any less precious in the eyes of the Father.
My children are grown now, but I still hang their ornaments on the tree. Some of them are really showing their age and should be retired, but I can’t bring myself to pack them away. I suppose, by holding on to them, I keep the memories alive a little while longer. And maybe, just maybe, it keeps a part of my children home with me. Of course, I understand not everyone shares my appreciation for my old handmade ornaments, so I gently place them deep into the tree, just enough so I can still see them.
I wonder how many of us sometimes feel like the old ornaments? Once shiny and new, full of sparkle, vying for the front of the tree to reflect the lights, but now shrinking back into the shadows of what used to be.
Life can do that, ya know. Ups and downs and ups and downs and ups and downs, until it feels like you are going down for the count. You hold things deep inside; every broken promise, cruel word, rejection, abuse, heartbreak, loss. The shell you wrap yourself in becomes hard and you determine to be untouchable. That is called self protection.
Or maybe you have done or said some things you are ashamed of. It started off as a little thing, a slip up here, a slide there, and then before you know it you can hardly recognize yourself anymore. Of course this is compounded by the lies you have to tell to cover your tracks. Then you start hearing the voice in your head that tells you really blew it this time. Even though you want to make it right, the more you try the deeper the hole you dig. You give up because you can’t do it yourself, you can’t make right the wrongs, you can’t clean the filth you feel, you can;t shake off the guilt and the shame, no matter how hard you try. And you are right, you can’t.
But there is good news!
The Bible tells us that long before He formed us in our mothers womb, God knew us! It’s true! Click here to read it for yourself. In the hands of our Maker, Creator, Father, we were created to shine! Our omniscient God knew we would lose our luster and drift from Him. So, He, Himself, made a way for us. This is why we celebrate Christmas!
Behold, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a Son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel—which, when translated, means, God with us. Matthew 1:23
Do you understand what this means? It means God came down for us! Our God, our Heavenly Father, came down to us in the flesh and dwelt among us for 33 years as a man. He was born of a virgin and died on a cross. You see, we celebrate Christmas to celebrate the birth of our Savior, but He came to die for us.
More Good News!
The grave could not hold Him, death was defeated!
“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 5But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.1 Corinthians 15:55-57
Beloved, our minds can not comprehend the love God has for us. For God so loved us that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
I may not be able to make my ornaments look new, as much as I would like to, but even so… I will continue to display them on my tree with love.
But YOU, Beloved, you are a new creation! In the Fathers hands you are made to sparkle! Let your light shine, because your light is HIM! And know that when He looks upon you, He smiles, His heartbeat is you and NOTHING can change that!
This Christmas let your gift be you, all of you. Take time to thank Him for the greatest gift of all, His Son, Jesus!
Be Free & Stay Free
Yes, we are living in troubled days. Everywhere we look we see evidence of fallen man. Jesus said that Satan is the god of this world, and we see his fruit everywhere; hate, fear, and death.
How do we keep from getting sucked in to the pit with the rest of the world?
How do we keep our hope in the face of hopelessness?
How do we love when we are hated?
The quick and easy answer would be to pray. And yes, we should pray, but what about when we are so heavy laden, hurt, angry, sad, alone, abused, empty, afraid, blue, and if I can be honest… how about when we are just tired of hearing our own voice and see no change around us? What then?
The world is spinning fast, time is but a vapor, and time is short, and nothing is within our control. We can not control another person or what is going on around us. BUT! There is one thing we can control… ourselves. We can take control of our thoughts and our responses. Then instead of being reactive, we can be proactive.
So, again, how do we do that?
We shift our focus!
A broken hallelujah will be made whole. In your brokenness, offer a hallelujah and He will answer.
“Hallel” means to boast or to brag on, to make a show, even to the point of looking ridiculous.
“Jah” is the short form of the name for God.
What do we tell our children to do when there is a fire? Stop! Drop! And Roll!
Praise the Lord!
Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty heavens.
Praise Him for His mighty acts;
Praise Him according to [the abundance of] His greatness.
Praise Him with trumpet sound;
Praise Him with harp and lyre.
Praise Him with tambourine and dancing;
Praise Him with stringed instruments and flute.
Praise Him with resounding cymbals;
Praise Him with loud cymbals.
Let everything that has breath and every breath of life praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord! (Hallelujah!)
So I encourage you… No! I challenge you! Shut the world out, turn the news off, lay down the paper, hang the phone up, shut down the computer, and Stop! Drop to your knees, lift your arms, open your mouth, and let the praises roll!
You can’t change the world, but God can. You may not be able to change your circumstance, but God can. You may be waist deep in what the world calls despair, but He promises if you focus on Him, praise Him for His goodness, trust Him, give it ALL to Him, when you rise you will rise refreshed and strengthened.
He is still God, He is still on His throne, He has not left you and He never will. Don’t let the world steal your peace. Shift your focus.
Be Free & Stay Free
This post is to those who follow Christ; those who are called by His Name, and for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear what the Spirit is saying.
Do NOT get side tracked by the pettines that is distracting you. There is very real battle going on and many are falling away; chasing their own tails because the enemy has come in, undetected, and are causing warriors to engage in trivial arguments over offenses to distract from the source of the problem. Men and women of God who were once on fire and bold, are now hiding behind their doors and have allowed their voice to be silent; they have forgotten their first love.
Are we more concerned and focused on the mud on the carpet instead of the thief who has tracked the mud through our house? While we run around cleaning up his mess, sweeping it under the rug, he has moved on to kill, steal, and destroy. Like ostriches, we hide our heads, convincing ourselves if we do not see him then he is not there. We pull our feet under the blankets so the monster under the bed will not grab them, instead of just turning on the light.
Do NOT be a slacker, with slothful ease, when it is time to pick up our weapons. We MUST hold the arms of our President up. We MUST intercede for our nation. We MUST go to bat for souls. We MUST stand and we MUST resist! It is time to choose a side, come out of hiding, and be brave!
But I have this [charge] against you, that you tolerate the woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess [claiming to be inspired], and she teaches and misleads My bond-servants so that they commit [acts of sexual] immorality and eat food sacrificed to idols. I gave her time to repent [to change her inner self and her sinful way of thinking], but she has no desire to repent of her immorality and refuses to do so. Listen carefully, I will throw her on a bed of sickness, and those who commit adultery with her [I will bring] into great anguish, unless they repent of her deeds.” -Revelation 2:20-22
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. -2 Chronicles 7:14
So when Jehu came to Jezreel, Jezebel heard about it, and she painted her eyes and adorned her head and looked down from the [upper] window. As Jehu entered in at the gate, she said, “Is it well, Zimri, your master’s murderer?” Then Jehu raised his face toward the window and said, “Who is on my side? Who?” And two or three officials looked down at him.
And he said, “Throw her down.” So they threw her down, and some of her blood spattered on the wall and on the horses, and he trampled her underfoot. When he came in, he ate and drank, and said, “See now to this cursed woman and bury her, for she is a king’s daughter.” They went to bury her, but they found nothing left of her except the skull and the feet and the palms of her hands. So they returned and told Jehu. Then he said, “This is the word of the Lord, which He spoke through His servant Elijah the Tishbite, saying, ‘In the property of Jezreel the dogs shall eat the flesh of Jezebel. The corpse of Jezebel will be like dung on the surface of the field in the property of Jezreel, so they cannot say, “This is Jezebel.”’” 2 Kings 9:30-37
We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony!
Jesus is coming quickly and His reward is with Him! Are you ready?
Don’t be fooled! This is not just “politics,” this is an attack against Christianity, against the people of God. This is demonic! Look around you! Jesus told us what to look for as a sign of His return and a person has to be blind to not see the signs!
He who testifies and affirms these things says, “Yes, I am coming quickly.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus. -Revelation 22:20
Be Free & Stay Free
Why do you boast of evil, O mighty man?
The lovingkindness of God endures all day long.
Your tongue devises destruction,
Like a sharp razor, working deceitfully.
You love evil more than good,
And falsehood more than speaking what is right. Selah.
You love all words that devour,
O deceitful tongue.
But God will break you down forever;
He will take you away and tear you away from your tent,
And uproot you from the land of the living. Selah.
The righteous will see it and fear, And will [scoffingly] laugh, saying,
“Look, [this is] the man who would not make God his strength [his stronghold and fortress], But trusted in the abundance of his riches,
Taking refuge in his wealth.”
But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;
I trust [confidently] in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever.
I will thank You forever, because You have done it, [You have rescued me and kept me safe].
I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones.
Be Free & Stay Free
I read an article in CBN News and I have to share it with you, as a warning, and for encouragement to finish the race that is laid out before us.
“A United Methodist Church pastor has caused controversy after stating that Christians can support the marital union of homosexuals without betraying the word of God.”
All of the alarm bells are going off! Wake up, wake up, wake up!
Choose this day who you will serve (Joshua 25:15). You can not, as Christians, support something that is clearly against Gods Word without betraying the Word of God. It is NOT possible!
“Hamilton believes United Methodist churches must come together now and rediscover the faith that unites them. He does, however, believe that individual church parishes should be allowed to determine where they stand on this most sensitive theological issue. So, he helped set up the group “Uniting Methodists” to encourage local churches to claim autonomy over these pastoral matters.” Let us not fool ourselves, as Hamilton is greatly deceived, the autonomy he seeks is a separation from Truth.
Bottom line… you are for God or you are not. There is no middle ground and no compromise. All or Nothing, Hot or Cold, Life or Death, For or Against…
We are to be a light in the world; not bring the world into the church. It is love to speak truth and it is love to care for souls; even to the point of death. The world is lost, they are dying and facing eternal death, and we will be held accountable if we withhold truth.
Beloved, while I was making every effort to write you about our common salvation, I was compelled to write to you [urgently] appealing that you fight strenuously for [the defense of] the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints [the faith that is the sum of Christian belief that was given verbally to believers]. For certain people have crept in unnoticed [just as if they were sneaking in by a side door]. They are ungodly persons whose condemnation was predicted long ago, for they distort the grace of our God into decadence and immoral freedom [viewing it as an opportunity to do whatever they want], and deny and disown our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. (Jude 3-4)
Jesus said, “Be careful that no one misleads you [deceiving you and leading you into error] For many will come in My name [misusing it, and appropriating the strength of the name which belongs to Me], saying, ‘I am the Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed),’ and they will mislead many.” And He also said, “At that time many will be offended and repelled [by their association with Me] and will fall away [from the One whom they should trust] and will betray one another [handing over believers to their persecutors] and will hate one another. Many false prophets will appear and mislead many. Because lawlessness is increased, the love of most people will grow cold.” See Matthew 24)
And the Lord said, “The outcry [of the sin] of Sodom and Gomorrah is indeed great, and their sin is exceedingly grave. I will go down now, and see whether they have acted [as vilely and wickedly] as the outcry which has come to Me [indicates]; and if not, I will know.” (See Genesis 18)
I assure you and most solemnly say to you, it will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that city [since it rejected the Messiah’s messenger]. (Matthew 10:15)
Stay alert! Stay awake! Do not be deceived!
Be Free & Stay Free
I do believe God answered the prayers of the righteous through the election of President Trump. We have been granted some time to move forward; some breathing room, as President Trump is a friend to Christians and Israel. What we do during this time is important. This is not a time to rest.
Here, in the United States, we are being hit from every side, evil is being exposed, the wicked are drunk in their sin, The spirits of hate, lust, greed, lies, and corruption… lawlessness; cover our nation like a dark cloud, defiling everything and everyone it comes into contact with.
But it doesn’t stop with the United States, the attack is worldwide; pediphilia, crimes against children and the unborn, wars, famine, strange weather (volcanic eruptions, fires, floods, earthquakes, droughts) and it is increasing.
Sin is in the church, the Gospel message is being watered down across the pulpit, itching ears are being served a “feel good” message where there is no longer a call to repentance. Those who were once on fire for the Lord have silenced themselves and opted for entertainment rather than the Word of God and have become so lukewarm they border cold; having walked away from the call of God on their life, they have neglected the only One Who brings salvation. Their hearts have grown weak and instead of repenting and returning to their first love, they have sought after the counterfeit to numb them; addictions, entertainment, unholy relationships… then when this proves to be empty, leaving them in a worse state than before, many turn to suicide, but it all leads to death.
For just like the days of Noah were, so the coming of the Son of Man will be. For in those days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day Noah entered the ark. And they knew nothing until the flood came and took them all away. It will be the same at the coming of the Son of Man. Matthew 24
For those of us who know Jesus, this is not a time to be afraid, this is a time to look up and to get on our knees and plead for souls. This is not the time to get lax, but to put on the full armour of God and wage war in the heavenlies for our nation(s) and souls.
Then the men got up from there, and looked toward Sodom; and Abraham walked with them to send them on the way. The Lord said, “Shall I keep secret from Abraham [My friend and servant] what I am going to do, since Abraham is destined to become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed through him? For I have known (chosen, acknowledged) him [as My own], so that he may teach and command his children and [the sons of] his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is righteous and just, so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has promised him.”
And the Lord said, “The outcry [of the sin] of Sodom and Gomorrah is indeed great, and their sin is exceedingly grave. I will go down now, and see whether they have acted [as vilely and wickedly] as the outcry which has come to Me [indicates]; and if not, I will know.”
Now the [two] men (angelic beings) turned away from there and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord. Abraham approached [the Lord] and said, “Will You really sweep away the righteous (those who do right) with the wicked (those who do evil)? Suppose there are fifty righteous [people] within the city; will You really sweep it away and not spare it for the sake of the fifty righteous who are in it? Far be it from You to do such a thing—to strike the righteous with the wicked, so that the righteous and the wicked are treated alike. Far be it from You! Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right [by executing just and righteous judgment]?”
So the Lord said, “If I find within the city of Sodom fifty righteous [people], then I will spare the entire place for their sake.”
Abraham answered, “Now behold, I who am but dust [in origin] and ashes have decided to speak to the Lord. If five of the fifty righteous are lacking, will You destroy the entire city for lack of five?”
And He said, “If I find [at least] forty-five [righteous people] there, I will not destroy it.”
Abraham spoke to Him yet again and said, “Suppose [only] forty are found there.”
And He said, “I will not do it for the sake of the forty [who are righteous].”
Then Abraham said [to Him], “Oh, may the Lord not be angry, and I will speak; suppose thirty [righteous people] are found there?”
And He said, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”
And he said, “Now behold, I have decided to speak to the Lord [again]. Suppose [only] twenty [righteous people] are found there?”
And the Lord said, “I will not destroy it for the sake of the twenty.”
Then Abraham said, “Oh may the Lord not be angry [with me], and I will speak only this once; suppose ten [righteous people] are found there?”
And He said, “I will not destroy it for the sake of the ten.”
As soon as He had finished speaking with Abraham the Lord departed, and Abraham returned to his own place.
My friends, my brothers and sisters, church… Rise up! Be bold! Do not be afraid! If you love God then you will love people as He loves them, willing to die for them so they may live!
However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find [this kind of persistent] faith on the earth?” Luke 18:1-8
Be Free & Stay Free
This is a very important word for now.
AMERICA IS PAST HOPE AND WILL BE DESTROYED? AMERICA IS FAVORED AND WILL NEVER BE DESTROYED? Almost all prophetic words today shout one of those two headlines Facebook oozes with voices claiming to be prophets or mouthpieces for God. The internet teems with self-appointed prophets who scream to be heard, bombarding us with “prophetic words.”
So, is there a word of the Lord in this hour? All I can tell you is I walk in the fear of the Lord and the constant remembrance that one day I will stand before God and give an account for every word I have spoken. Yet, for all that reverential fear my bones burn with a word for this hour.
My Spirit can’t hold it back:
That to autonomously pronounce judgement is to play God. Doomsdayers are calling off the attack against evil when God has not. They are sounding a…
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A boy wanted to be a doctor. As a child his parents gave him a toy doctor kit and he would hold the plastic stethoscope to the chest of stuffed animals and give pretend shots to anyone who would allow him to put the plastic syringe to their arm. As he grew he would watch television shows about doctors; he knew the names and back stories of every major character in his favorite shows. He would drive around the hospital and sometimes even go inside.
He bought himself a pair of scrubs, a white lab coat, and a real stethoscope, and he would wear them around town. His chest would swell each time someone called him Doctor. He decided it was not important to go to real medical school, after all, he does look like a doctor already and why go through all the hassle of study when all he needed was the outfit; or so he thought.
One day there was a terrible accident. Upon seeing the young man they urged him to help.
“Doctor, do something!” The crowd pleaded. “Or they will die.”
Of course he didn’t know what to do. He fumbled around and tried his best to re-enact the scenes he seen hundreds of times on his favorite television shows, he yelled “Stat!” and “screamed for someone to hand him a “thing-a-ma-jig.” He didn’t know how to check a pulse, stop the bleeding, or bandage a wound. He tried to fake it, but faking it did not save any lives that day.
Perhaps he should have went to medical school? Maybe he should have applied himself to studies instead of appearance that merely brought him a false sense of security?
Thankfully, this is just a fictitious story. Yet, this scene is played out everyday within the Body of Christ.
Too many Christians are getting the Word from short blips and memes, or watching t.v. sermons, or worse going to a church where scripture is never mentioned, but my, my, my, what a great time they had, huh. They may own a Bible, but do they read it? They may pick it up occasionally, but do they study it?
If you are a Christian and I ask you where is your Bible and when was the last time you read it, what would you answer?
If someone asked you what do you believe and why do you believe, would you have a confident answer? And if your answer went against the grain of the person asking you, would you be bold enough to still give your answer without wavering? If you were speaking to someone who is well versed in their unbelief, (an atheist, for example) do you have enough of His Word in you to contend for the faith?
This is not meant to condemn anyone, rather I hope if this speaks to you it will encourage you to rise up and take your place.
But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness [though it is not certain that you will], you are still blessed [happy, to be admired and favored by God]. Do not be afraid of their intimidating threats, nor be troubled or disturbed [by their opposition]. But in your hearts set Christ apart [as holy—acknowledging Him, giving Him first place in your lives] as Lord. Always be ready to give a [logical] defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope and confident assurance [elicited by faith] that is within you, yet [do it] with gentleness and respect. 1 Peter 3:14-15
As followers, imitators, of Christ, we have been given a commission:
Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations [help the people to learn of Me, believe in Me, and obey My words], baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always [remaining with you perpetually—regardless of circumstance, and on every occasion], even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:19-20
You have no need to fear! Study His Word, submit yourself to Christ, and when the opportunity comes (and it will) He will give you the words to say. He will bring back to your remembrance all He has taught you. But you can’t remember what you have not taken the time to hear and to know.
My friend, we are in the days where evil is called good and good is called evil, many are falling from the faith, false prophets are on the stage, the wolves are dining on the ignorance of lazy believers, people are seeking to have their ears tickled and there are many out there who will accomodate their carnal desires. Christians are being persecuted around the world, and even here in the USA our Christian faith is being attacked. We must be vigilant!
Difficult Times Will Come!
But understand this, that in the last days dangerous times [of great stress and trouble] will come [difficult days that will be hard to bear]. For people will be lovers of self [narcissistic, self-focused], lovers of money [impelled by greed], boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane, [and they will be] unloving [devoid of natural human affection, calloused and inhumane], irreconcilable, malicious gossips, devoid of self-control [intemperate, immoral], brutal, haters of good, traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of [sensual] pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although they have denied its power [for their conduct nullifies their claim of faith]. Avoid such people and keep far away from them. 2 Timothy 3:1-5
Do these verses from 2 Timothy sound like it fresh out of the mainstream media, Hollywood, your FaceBook newsfeed, or the world outside your front door?
What is apologetics? It is not apologizing for your faith, nor is it defending God, because He does not need us to defend Him, It is the discipline of giving the reason for your hope, applying scripture, it is combating unbelief.
There are many resources out there to help you. The Bible should ALWAYS be your first resource. Enroll in a course on apologetics. I have found some really good ministries out there. Check out:
Frances Chan has a heart for God and people. He is sure to inspire you!
People matter! Souls matter!
So, the next time you have the opportunity, open up your mouth and let Him out! We are the light of the world, the salt of the earth.
Stay connected to the Body of Christ, stay in fellowship with your local body of believers. We are not meant to be alone. We are many parts, but one body, we need each other.
Stay in the Word.
Stay close to Him.
Pray, commune with God, through Jesus.
Be filled with His Holy Spirit.
Open your front door and get out there!
And one more reminder… the offense will come, and when it does, lay down your pride, your ego, yourself, and do not be offended, nor lash out, stay in His peace, walk in love, be gentle, yet firm, and may you firmly grasp the knowledge of His love for you.
I close with this, Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Be Free & Stay Free
“Do it!” He whispered in her ear, as his unseen hand cupped hers, guiding the razor to her forearm. “This is your only way out.”
Her hand trembled and her vision blurred from the tears as she held the razor between her fingers. Cutting herself use to bring momentary relief from the pain inside of her, the warm, crimson red, flow of her own blood was a drain to the sickness inside of her. The pain of each cut was just enough to dull the despair. But this time she would cut deep enough to kill the pain forever.
Daily living drained her of strength. She no longer had energy to maintain the facade of normalcy. To get out of bed in the mornings brought increasing anxiety. She was constantly exhausted and the effort to keep breathing was an uphill battle. She had no where to turn; every bridge burnt in disappointment, rejection, and failure. Though she sought solace through relationships, alcohol, and every other substitute, it was no where to be found.
He felt her waiver and he knew if he allowed her to stall then she would change her mind. He mustn’t let that happen again. The other demons did an outstanding job separating her from help, it was his job to finish her, and there would be hell to be pay if he failed.
“Push her or get out of the way!” The other demons jeered.
“Silence!” He stood to his full height. “This takes cunning and precision.”
“Here, let me help you. She just needs a little reminding.” Another demon pushed his way through the others to join the rollicking. Shame enjoyed tagging along with the others. Though he was never the first demon to attack, he was an excellent grubber, and he didn’t mind feeding on the entails. It was Shames job to keep her in place, and to stay her from moving forward, by reminding her how worthless and hopeless she is.
“There is no help for you, if ever there was, because people would find out who you really are and what you have really done.” Shame echoed in her mind. “You stink, you’re worthless, and a total screw-up! Who would want you if they knew you? No one, that’s who!”
Memories of every relationship she gave herself to made her feel sick to her stomach. She closed her eyes tight to fight off the memories of the shameful and degrading acts. Shame reminded her of every piece of herself she gave away in each promiscuous act, until the purity of love was buried beyond recognition.
“Excellent work, Libertine!” Shame patted the lustful demon on the back. “I appreciate that you make my job easy.”
“You wouldn’t have a job if it weren’t for me, you little imp!” Lust bellowed.
“Your own father didn’t even want you.” Rejection taunted her with memories of the abuse she endured at the hand of her father. “You were a terrible daughter! Everyone knew it was your fault!”
“You call yourself a Christian? Why look at you!” Religion pointed his finger at her, poking her with each word for emphasis. “You cry and God doesn’t hear you, because you are weak!”
“No one wants you!” Another demon chimed in. “Go ahead and off yourself, you won’t even be missed.”
Confusion stepped in and led the others in an orchestra of accusations, while Murder gripped her hand on the razor. “Kill yourself! Do it! You are worthless! No one loves you! No one wants you! No one cares! God will never forgive you! If there was a God why does your life suck? You are a whore! You are stupid! You are ugly! There is no hope for you! Everything you touch is cursed! Die! Die! Die!…” Accusations and taunts circled around her head, confusing her, making her dizzy.
Her hand trembled, her tears fell, and though she wanted it all to end, there was a small voice…
“Come to Me.” The small voice softly beckoned. “I am your Healer and Deliverer.”
“Jesus?” Her voice was barely audible.
“What did she say?!” The demons stepped back just enough to loosen the grip on her. Although they could barely hear her words, they sensed a power coming forth, though it was faint they knew even a sliver of faith in what she spoke would send them flying.
“Call on Me.” The soft clear voice broke through the confusion and spoke directly to her heart. “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. Though they be red like crimson they shall be as wool. Come.”
“God, help me.” She cried.
The lesser demons began to flee, they knew they were no match for this war. They could feel the change in the atmosphere and their shadow began to fade.
“Stop her!” Murder screamed. But it was too late…
“Jesus save me.” The sound of the Name she spoke came through as thunder, throwing the demons off her.
The demons stood in the background, eyes narrowed, poison salivating from their lips with each exhale, waiting and watching. They trembled and covered their eyes when He entered the room, unable to look upon His glory. To the girl He was Love unconditional, to the demons He was a consuming fire. Not even the largest demon was fool enough to think of staying in His presence.
Immediately confusion was replaced with peace. She laid the razor down and wept.
“Oh, God, forgive me.” She wept. “I have sinned and turned so far away from You.”
In her brokenness, she laid down and confessed her sins and asked God to forgive her. “Jesus, if You are willing, You can heal me.” She cried.
“I am willing, be healed. You are forgiven.”
Her tears of sorrow soon turned into tears of joy as Gods Holy Spirit ministered love to her. Where rejection once resided, she now found acceptance. Where hatred once fanned the flames of unforgiveness, she found release and forgiveness. Where there was no hope, she found hope. And her weakness was now made strong, through the Name she called upon, Jesus, her Redeemer.
I wish I could tell you, dear reader, that the demons never tried to come back. But I can tell you that when they did, they found no place in her, the door to them was forever closed, as she continued to cling to Jesus and trust Him. This is her story, this is her testimony, though she was lost, she was found. What the devil meant to use to destroy her, God used for her good and for His glory. As we read the words of her story, we can be reminded, we are never so low or too far gone, that God can’t reach us. We have an Advocate, through Jesus, to God the Father. We are sealed with His Spirit and He is forever with us.
What is your story? Let it become your testimony of Gods redeeming love.
Call on Jesus.
Be Free & Stay Free