Are You Relationship Shopping?

OK, so ya know how when you go to the grocery store without a list and you come home with everything but what you went there for? You know, you plan to just run in and grab some eggs and bread then $150, a half-eaten bag of chips, and a cart full later you load up the car with that feeling of “I feel like I’m forgetting something,” only to get home and realize you didn’t get the two items you went for.

Or are you a list keeper and you stick to the list with no flexibility?

Hey, I’m not knocking you if you are an impulse shopper or a list keeper. This post isn’t even about grocery shopping, or lists, or bread and eggs (note to self, grab some peanut butter the next trip to the store). This post is about relationships. Yes, you read that right, I’m gonna talk about relationships.

Many relationships have ended with casualties because they were approached as if shopping for groceries on an empty stomach. Not much thought went into choosing the partner, he/she just looked good at the moment, even though they may have lacked any real sustenance, and red flags may have been waving like curtains in an open window during a hurricane, but you were lonely, or you settled because you didn’t think you deserved any better. The relationship was filled with a bunch of fluff and fillers, but eventually, it made you sick and never progressed to true intimacy (and hint: intimacy goes beyond sex). After it has run its course you are left feeling more empty than when you started. Been there!

There are also lost opportunities for a beautiful relationship because the person didn’t fit your “list”. You know, maybe they weren’t the “right” height or had the “desired” eye color, or the “suitable job.” Were you ever so busy looking for what you thought you had to have and completely missed the beautiful core of the person? Been there, too!

I am not claiming to be a relationship expert, but I am a good student and I like to believe I learn from experience and/or observation.

If you are not a person of integrity you will not attract a person of integrity. Like attracts like. Integrity comes in many shapes, sizes, and color, because it is not what is on the outside that makes a person, it is what is on the inside, its character. A person of integrity is respectful, honest, gentle, patient, kind, loyal, has self-control, isn’t lazy, and is not quick to get you in bed.

If you are insecure and still carrying past injuries on your sleeve, you are a target for the toxic person, but an emotionally healthy and safe person will most likely not pursue you. The saying is true, hurt people hurt people, and why would someone want to sign up for that hurt?

I saw a post on Facebook recently that said: One day you will meet a man who will worship the ground you walk on and he will not want to lose you. (Or something to that effect)

What?! Ladies (and men) you do not want someone to worship the ground you walk on. That’s unrealistic and unhealthy, not to mention too much pressure to be perfect, because hello… no one is perfect. If someone has to worry about losing someone then they are in a conditional relationship and who wants that?

You want someone who worships God and only God, and who will worship God with you. This I can tell you for a fact if God is the center and most important part of your relationship then you have a lifelong committed union. You will be blessed to be in a relationship/marriage that will grow, deepen, strengthen, and encourage. This three-chord strand is what will hold you in sickness and in health, in plenty and lack, good times and not so good times, and even when you are aged, gray and wrinkled, because let’s face it, we don’t stay young forever.

You might be pleasantly surprised who God picks for you if you just shift your focus to Him. Cultivate your relationship with your Heavenly Father first, allow Him to work in your heart, and prepare you to be the person for who He has picked you for. How beautiful is the one you will love when you look with the eyes of the Father. He knows what you need, He will not join you with someone who will not compliment your strengths and cover your weakness, and vice versa.

So throw your list away, quit looking when you are empty, and trust the process God will lead you through. He is the best matchmaker! If you keep yourself and let Him, He will introduce you to your best friend, companion, lover, and spouse. After all, isn’t that what you want?

Better to be alone with God than in a relationship without Him.

Be Free & Stay Free

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