Am I Good Enough?
Insecurities are purpose blockers…
Fighting those insecurities in my mind has been a battle. You see, I am a dreamer, I have always been a dreamer. I see big things in my mind, like images flashing before a movie screen, are the visions I see for my future. I have had confirmation after confirmation, words prophesied over me, and a deep-seated hunger for the vision; and yet plagued with the fear that pushes me back, stops me in my tracks, and if I let it it can push me far into the pit of depression of not reaching my God-given potential. I know there is more; I have seen it and I have tasted it. I have a purpose! You have a purpose! We were all created with and for a purpose.
Is Fear Blocking Your Purpose?
How about you? Are you going through the motions of daily life? I’m not saying your life right now has to be “bad”, maybe from the world’s standard you are living a “good life”, but at the end of the day do you lay your head on your pillow and wonder what is it all for? Or maybe you are struggling and there doesn’t seem to be any way of escape from the hole you are in, and hope eludes you because how can a dream possibly come true when you don’t even have the basics to survive life.
You see, I didn’t come from privilege. I grew up as a runaway on the streets of New York, I didn’t have the high school experience of dances, proms, friends, or graduation. I was a young wife and mother and never experienced how to be a child, a youth, a young woman. I had a dream, but I didn’t know how to reach the dream, I only knew how to survive the day. I didn’t have the maturity of mind to make healthy decisions, I was always one step behind and way beyond my years.
I had an image in my mind of what a woman is, based on movies and fictional characters in the books I read, so I would strive to reach that image, and I always fell short. I have fallen more times than I can count and have had to start over more times than I want to admit, but the dream was still there. I tell you this because I want you to know that I know a little bit about what I’m talking about, because I have been there, and I understand.
Something happened in my early thirties, I met the Dream Giver. I met the One who gave me the dream, He took that dream and gave it clarity, and brought it into focus. A God-given dream is a life calling. It is a lifelong pursuit, a walking it out, one foot in front of the other kind of life mission. It is a walk of faith.
I tell people all the time, “Your past does not dictate your future!” I am sure you have even heard it said that your beginning is not your ending. And I truly believe this, but entering life in a deficit, seemingly always ten paces behind everyone else, it is easy to ask… “Am I good enough? Am I enough? Am I worthy?” Do you ask these questions?
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. -Proverbs 13:12
Every story has a beginning and an ending.
Hold a book in your hand. Do you feel the smoothness of its cover? Do you feel the weight of it in your hand? Do you see the title and the author’s name on the front? Open the book, does it have a beginning? Now go to the back of the book, the last page, and you will see the ending. In between the beginning and the ending is where you will find the story. Friend, your life is a story, it is not the beginning that determines the ending, it is what’s written in between that will determine the ending. Your life story is being written now and you do have a say in how it ends. Your story can have a strong ending if you don’t give up in the middle. As your story is being written, I encourage you to enjoy those chapters that stretch you and challenge you, because in the stretching you will grow; make the most of those days, learn from them. And I remind you to appreciate the chapters that are rays of sunshine and smooth sailing; make the most of those days, too, and learn from them.
Good days and bad days come, life is constantly changing, but one thing I know for certain is if you allow God to write your story then your story will finish strong.
Robert Frost wrote a poem that said, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference”.
When you are truly trusting God with your story, there will be times you may have to walk on unfamiliar roads and step out of your comfort zone, you may be misunderstood by those closest to you, and it may cost you some relationships and comforts, but He promises you this… you will never be alone because He is always with you. He will go before you and make every crooked place straight, He will come behind you and be your rear guard, He will hold your hand and whisper which way to turn. Will it be easy? Probably not. Will it be worth it? Absolutely YES!
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” – Isaiah 30:21
Never be ashamed of your beginning. While your story is personal, believe me, you will meet people along your journey who will need to hear your story, and when they do it will encourage them and strengthen them, and may even save their life. Every good gift comes from God and even the things that nearly destroyed you He can still use them for your good.
From the humble beginnings of a young runaway, I can say, without doubt, God sees you and He knows you, He is for you, not against you, put your trust in Him and He will write the most beautiful life story you could ever imagine.
Be Free & Stay Free