If we have not experienced the unconditional love and affection of our fathers while growing up, we may find ourselves in toxic relationships; or unsatisfying, at the most.
As little girls we yearn to be loved and protected by our fathers. If that need was not met we become women who will accept anyone (or anything) who will offer to fill that need. Often, what they offer is a counterfeit and before we realize it we are sucked into another relationship that heaps coals onto our fire of doubt, insecurity, fear and self-hatred.
This is not an issue of intelligence, but a matter of the heart.
A wounded heart that is unable to self love will struggle with boundaries. Our mind may know that a person is not right for us, but our emotional need to fill a void will tolerate almost anything.
Do you find history repeating itself? Are you giving more to a relationship than you are receiving? Is your fear of being alone greater than your courage to walk away?
I have heard women say “love has eluded me.” Honestly, I admit, that I too have echoed these words. I have wondered if would ever experience love and I have found myself settling. It is not a good feeling, is it? What I have learned, and am still learning, is no man can fill this void. No man was meant to fill the void.
When we have not experienced the love of our fathers, we have no standard to measure the love of a man. Without this, we set our standards low, and because we do not value ourselves, we find ourselves with men who devalue us. We fall in love too easy and we are crushed when it is not reciprocated. We unfairly,demand that a man love and value us, when we can’t even love or value ourselves.
We mask our insecurities with false independence. We brush off assaults and “act” strong. We cry, we become bitter, untrusting, and then we hop into another relationship. With each new relationship we have hopes and illusion that ‘this time he is the one’. We ignore red flags, we stifle our fears, we act on impulse, and we become foolish women.
Do not awaken love until the time is right – Song of Solomon 2:7
When is the time right? You will know you are ready for love when you have first fallen in love with yourself. To love yourself you must first meet the true love of your Father. I am not talking about your earthly father. I am talking about your Heavenly Father. Your real Father who you can cry out to as ‘Abba, Father’ (Galatians 4:6) He is not a man sitting in the clouds somewhere and unapproachable. He is with you right now and He cares for you.
We must first know who He is and who He created us to be. We must accept His unconditional love and receive His affections toward us.
Dear woman, you are His creation, His daughter. He does not love as man does, His love is flawless. He is faithful. He is strong. He is patient. He is kind and He sees you as beautiful and worthy.
Cultivate your relationship with Jesus before you attempt a relationship with a man. Until you trust Him and fully understand how much He adores you, you will continue in one empty relationship after another.
You are so worth it! You are beautiful! You are the precious daughter of the King, take your position.
Be Free & Stay Free!